By Lori Marie
Speaking from experience—and as someone who didn’t realize for a long time that I was often part of the problem—I want to challenge you to make emotional regulation an everyday conversation. Why? Because when we bring awareness to something, it naturally begins to change everything.
Emotional regulation is not something most of us were taught growing up. Many of us were raised in homes where parents were overwhelmed by responsibilities and their own inner struggles. Meanwhile, children, simply seeking love and attention, unknowingly absorb and repeat unhealthy emotional habits.
But we can change this for the next generation by normalizing emotional regulation.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
It’s the ability to pause and choose how we respond to a situation rather than reacting from an automatic emotional impulse. Many people live on autopilot, so much so that others can often predict their reactions before they even happen! When we’re not mindful, our emotions and deeply ingrained habits take control, shaping our reality in ways we might not even realize.
Being mindful simply means being aware. By taking even a moment before reacting, we shift from subconscious survival mode—which was programmed in us when we didn’t know any better—to conscious choice, where we recognize that old responses no longer serve us.
How to Begin Normalizing Emotional Regulation
🛑 Pause before reacting. Before responding to any situation today, take a deep breath, count to three, and check in:
Are you about to react from habit?
Could this situation be misunderstood?
Does this actually have anything to do with you?
Respond with intention, not emotion. The pause is where clarity is found—it’s the space between impulse and wisdom.
📝 Name your emotions instead of suppressing them.When triggered, instead of pushing emotions away, say or write:"I feel ___ because ___."
Emotions are messengers, not enemies. Naming them helps you process rather than suppress, leading to deeper self-awareness.
⏳ Remind yourself: most emotions last about 90 seconds.If you feel overwhelmed, breathe through it and observe as it passes.You are the sky; your emotions are just passing clouds.
💗 Use breathwork to regulate emotions.Close your eyes and inhale deeply through your nose, imagining your breath moving in and out of your heart. Exhale slowly. Repeat for 2-5 minutes.Your heart is a portal to calm. When emotions feel chaotic, return to the breath and let love guide you.
🌿 Ground yourself in nature.If overwhelmed, go for a walk, place your bare feet in the grass, or touch a tree. Engage your senses:
5 things you see
4 things you feel
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
The present moment is always safe. Anchor into the now.
🖊 Rewrite disempowering thoughts. Identify negative self-talk and shift it into an empowering statement. Example:💭 “I always mess up.” → ✨ “I am learning and growing every day.”
Your words shape your reality. Speak to yourself with kindness, and watch how your inner world transforms.
Emotional Regulation is Life-Changing
I’m not just sharing these tools for the sake of writing them—I have consciously implemented mindfulness in my own life, and I can tell you firsthand that it changes everything. There were times I unknowingly escalated situations just because I wasn’t aware, letting my subconscious dictate my reactions.
But when I started pausing, becoming mindful, and choosing my responses, I saw life shift before my eyes. You can too.
💌 Want to dive deeper into emotional regulation and mindfulness? Email me at whtsursgn@gmail.com to explore working together!
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