By Ger O'Malley
I remember my mom telling me that if we all lived with death on our shoulder, we would
have much happier lives. At the time, in my young mind, I found that a slightly morbid thing
for her to say. The very idea of mortality made me feel uneasy, and I didn’t actually want to
consider the fact that one day we would all die. So, I pushed the thought away, choosing
instead the illusion that life stretched endlessly before me.
But…for some reason, her words remained in my head, and the day eventually came when
understanding of what she was actually saying landed with me. I am a slow listener I
guess.
Looking back now, I realize that there was nothing dark or pessimistic about what she was
suggesting. She wasn’t trying to instill fear. What she meant was simple: if we can remain
aware of our own mortality, and understand that our time here is finite, then we won’t get
too bogged down with the everyday challenges that life can throw at us. We can then focus
on nurturing our happiness and our consciousness, becoming more present and deepening
our awareness of the human experience.
Today as I sit here writing this piece, I find myself wondering again, why do so many of us
have times when we fear our own departure from this plane of existence?
Could it be a purely biological thing, our fight or flight instincts asserting themselves? Or
maybe it’s down to our fear of the great unknown…the uncertainty of what happens next,
that unnerves us? Or perhaps it could be the thought that we are not as important as we
think, that time will pass without us, and we will fade from memory and be forgotten?
One could be forgiven for saying, No, I don’t want to think about all this, to push the
thoughts aside as I did when I was younger. And yet, the irony is that death is what gives life
its urgency. Would our moments of joy feel as vivid if they could stretch forever? Would
love feel as profound if we were guaranteed its permanence?
Maybe the key is not to deny life’s impermanence, but to accept it. To understand that
every sunrise, every laugh, every fleeting connection is precious… because it is temporary. If
we can accept the finite nature of our existence, then we can more fully embrace the time
we have here. And perhaps if we live with that knowledge we can treat our mortality like a
whisper on our shoulder rather than a weight on our back.
At least I think that’s what my mom was trying to tell me.
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